A Clear Head to Move Ahead

It's been a couple days and a lot has happened. We got our approval from M-Care last Friday to be seen by Dr. Wong at Sloan-Kettering in Manhattan New York. We booked a one way ticket for Sunday afternoon since Joel needed to be seen Monday morning and he needed to have prep time for the appt.




We arrived in New York at LaGuardia airport. It was a quick flight and Gage was awesome. We took a shuttle to the hotel where I pumped, we changed clothes and we headed out to meet friends. Though the trip was totally last minute, we had friends come from all directions to see us and have dinner on Sunday night. Allison and Mac came from near Boston, Susie came from Jersey, Steph from Pennsylvania, and Tammy & Ken from Connecticut. Tammy was the only one that had met Gage before so everyone else got to meet him for the first time and we walked around Times Square and hit a street fair. We had dinner at a family style Italian Restaurant called Carmine's and it was very good. It was a short visit since everyone had to head home after dinner so they could get in bed for work on Monday but it was really nice to connect even just for dinner. Gage is such a trooper. He only napped for about 45 minutes in his stroller and stayed up till after 10 since it took 2 hours to get his crib brought to the room.



We had a late night and an early morning but Joel I were out of the room and walking to the Sloan clinic at approx 9:30am and it didn't take us long to walk, it was about 15 blocks and it was a beautiful day. We passed the Radio City Music Hall and a beautiful church. Lots of graduations going on here this weekend.

Our appt was at 11:30 and we finally got to see the Dr the 1st time after 2 pm but it was worth the wait. The Dr was very nice and was very thorough with her exams and explaining everything in detail so that we would understand. There are quite a few risks associated with this alternative surgery. Those risks that would be the same as the permanent colostomy and a few more. Pretty much she explained to us that this shouldn't be viewed as a better approach to permanent colostomy because at this time there are unfavorable things that come along with the surgery and this surgery is only chosen when someone will absolutely not want a permanent bag. It is sad but there are some people that would rather die from cancer than have a bag so this approach is to help those patients that are willing to die. While there have been thousands of artificial sphincters for people that have rectal incontinence and the artificial sphincter works great, the surgery is altered a little for rectal patients since the anus is completely removed therefore it doesn't work as good. There have been 4 previous rectal cancer surgery's in this study and all have mixed emotions regarding their choice. We got the phone number to call a previous surgery recipient and plan to call her today. This study would prolong Joel's healing time on top of all the risks. Best case scenario, Joel would miss another year of work after this one and he would have 8 additional months of heal time and that's if all goes well. He could very well end up having another major surgery sometime down the road or even 2 surgery's if anything should fail, etc. A lot of unknowns.

Before we even left the office, Joel had had made up his mind. ~~He wishes to accept what is true and best for his family and for himself and move on and enjoy life and resume his fight against the cancer. He is scheduled for the permanent colostomy surgery here in Michigan on Friday with a great surgeon. We are so glad that we were able to weigh the options prior to his surgery and leave behind any what-ifs or regrets. Sloan-Kettering is a wonderful hospital and they are ranked #1 for Cancer for a reason. If anyone ever has to deal with cancer in their lifetime, it is our opinion, that searching out a top-rated hospital can make all the difference in the world. Whether it be #1 in the USA like Sloan or #18 like U of M. Both are great and top ranked hospitals.

We flew home last night after spending a couple hours walking around Manhattan. We strolled 5th avenue, canal street, and Central Park. It was a beautiful day and we were able to spend a little time soaking in what a great family we have and what great friends we have. We feel very lucky and the trip itself was an opportunity to spend some time with Gage since second children kind of get the shaft in that department. We missed Ty horribly while we were gone and everywhere we went, you could hear us saying, "Ty would love that or wish Ty could see that". We will have to take the kids back when they are a little bit older. New York is an interesting place with new things on every corner.



Our flight home was good. We got in really late and Gage was great and fell asleep in the stroller in baggage claim. Joel started a clear liquid diet at midnight last night. I can't imagine not eating for a couple of days but Joel is in the zone. He will do fine.